Years after youve been gone

Coming home on a random any time
In the front door, How was work, how was your day?
Then a dry kiss and somehow a hollow look in my eye
She knew better than to ask but, Whats wrong?
Then they came and down my cheeks they fell
Up front she knew, Id never feel about her how I felt about you.

Can you do me a favor and be with me forever?
Now, if it isnt too much to ask, please love me too?
Stay by my side and grow old with me
Hand in hand forever to be placed side by side

Then another fight about your picture on the wall
Let it go she said, I heard it through my sobs
She knew up front shed never understand
that youll be all Ill have forever
I placed your heart deep in the sands of my heart
Broke the key and burnt the map, never to be found
Somehow you keep creeping up on those beautiful summer evenings

Out the door and to my car, windows down with Delilah in the air
I play the accordion of my leather wallet
while I stare at you and wish that you were here.
Janna, youre beautiful face, even now, brings shine through my tears

Can you do me a favor and be with my forever?
If it isnt too much to ask, love me along the way.
Promise youll never be gone and to hold me through it
Hand in hand forever, to be placed by your side.

Back inside for the hug and Im sorry
I know it was love she says but shell never understand
I love you she says but with doubt in her voice
Shes another of many I cant keep, Janna I need you
You stole all my love but I dont want it back
I said youd have it forever and I meant every word

So please Janna, never leave me alone
I love you now and Ill love you then

More crap from my mind

Last night, I looked up at a starless sky

and found no suprise in the blackness

because I know God put them all in her eyes.

The light of the sun goes out when she smiles

though I can still feel its warmth through her touch.

The soft breeze of the ocean comes through the swish of her hair.

And so, Ill never ask for a sign to prove your existence

A glowing neon sign comes home to me everyday

Lord, Ill never doubt that you created it all

because I see it all in her.

Ill never ever be the same

So while doing something today, I cant remember what, it came to me that my life is never going to be involving just me anymore, ever again. Everything decision I make from now until forever has a new and overpowering factor in it. Im no longer the only person I need to think about and feel responsible for. Wow... thats heavy huh? Then in a few years, hopefully I am going to become even MORE responsible for someone that cant even help or support themselves, my child. Ah... I cant wait for those days.

You're part of the reason I'm so set on the rest of my life being a part of you...

...cause things will never be the same

With your love, I have everything.
Ive been to the sky and saw earth from the stars.
And I used to feel the world on my shoulders
but I dont bear it there any more.
I weigh it in one hand now,
when my other naturally finds yours.
You carry me through your touch
and lift me higher with your words
And it will be all right
No matter what it is
Because, with your love, I have everything

Just some random words from thoughts

With your love, I have everything

The rest of this blew so I just got rid of it all. Anyway, I like the picture cause Janna loves me in it.

Windows down, Bugs singing, Love beginning

So last night I got to do one of my favorite things. Sit inside my car (used to be the purple truck, but now its the Xgay) with the windows down and the phone to my ear and listen to Janna's angelic voice come through my phone. Back when her and I first started our little relationship I used to sit out there, in the exact same spot and talk to her for hours. With the purple bomber I would roll down both windows so there was a nice breeze and then lay down while sticking my feet out the drivers side window. Sometimes if she didnt answer her phone I would put on "Hey There Delilah" from the Plain White T's and listen to it on repeat until she called me back. I remember how my heart used to race every time I would call her and then I heard that wonderful "Hey" or "Hey you" from the other end. She usually answers the phone that way which is funny. Of course, I always say "Hey sweetie or Hey hun" which Im sure is amusing as well. We talked about the night we met and how each of us felt. I think we have talked about it before but I dont think Ill ever get bored of the story. Hopefully someday I can tell that story to my grand kids and have them be in the same kind of love that I am so they can enjoy it.

Emails and Miles

Since October 5th of last year, Ive sent Janna about 127 emails. Probably a few more than that but thats how many ive got back from her and most times she rights back. Anyway, since I started dating her, weve been in a long distance relationship. One might think that starting and maintaining a relationship over 500 miles away might be tough but it really wasnt hard at all. I never had any mistrust in her or felt like we werent having a gratifying relationship. I never once had any "this isnt worth it" thoughts. All I have ever felt was like half of me was missing. I know it sounds cliche but its true. Ya know the feeling when you wear a piece of jewelry like a ring or a necklace for a really long time and then lose it? That is how I feel every time I am without Janna. It is the feeling that nothing is really wrong but something is just missing. In about 2 months, hopefully I will never have to feel that feeling again. Janna will be in Maryland and so will I. Then all will be right in the world.